Sunday, March 25, 2007

Pampers-Trump Miss USA 2007 Pubic Hair Conspiracy

Earlier today I came across a report from last Friday's Miss USA 2007 held in Hollywood, California. (excerpted with my commentaries)
____________________________________
"...Since few people watch National Bias Corporation (NBC) in a first place, very few people got to watch the show.

Hence, it is important for the Pubic Hair Patrol (PHP) to expose the conspiracy between Pampers (major sponsor of the event), and Donald Trump (co-owner of the pageant).

The uncovered conspiracy was aimed to assure victory fora natural brunette pubic hair contestant, over obviously more deserving blonds.

Since no American blond would purposely dye the hair on her head brown or black, it’s safe to assume that by end of first round of competition there was only ONE (1) token-blond among the Top 10, Ms. Missouri, surrounded by 9 natural brunettes.

Having read a draft of this posting a dear friend of mine, and a Pubic Hair veteran herself, correctly pointed out that there is a new fad of pubic hair dyeing, with Pink being the most popular color.

Unless one believes in "Roses Are Red Pussy is Pink Show Me Yours And I'll Buy You A Drink" approach, one has to assume that there were 9 natural pubic hair brunettes among the 10 finalists.

Unfortunately, things got much uglier in the second round, when there was not a single natural blond among the five (5) finalists.

Conspirators were blatant to the point of including two African-Americans (Ms. Tennessee and Ms. California) in the Top 5 thus completely eliminating the possibility of natural blond pubic hair coming up on top.

Naturally, by the end of the final round, there were two
brunette pubic hair owners standing face-to-face and hand-in-hand.

By the time the beautiful and graceful brunette, Ms. Tennessee was crowned, the world of natural blond pubic hair admirers came crashing down.

While the facts are indisputable on their face, the motives still remain a mystery?


It might be a reflection of Trump’s trade-in of the old blond first wife for a newer model brunette.

He might be grooming the new Miss USA to be a Pubic Hair donor for his hair transplant, and/or just being Trump and going for a free life supply of adult diapers from Pampers?
___________________________________

We patrol, you decide,

CMDR. Peter S. Berg.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

In Ancient China, having one’s hair cut was major disgrace-enough to commit a homicide and even a little suicide.

Today, I feel like an Ancient Chinese. I have lost my pubic hair. I have been tricked into a “little stylish trim”, and then brutally mutilated!

Every piece of my gorgeous, curly-smelly, and almost-knee-length pubic hair has been shaved off!

I feel violated, as I have no say as to the fate of my hair growth
down-south. I feel like I have lost my free will and a part of my soul (at least the part assigned to the pubic area).

Having been tricked into shaving it off is worse than a murderous Brazilian Wax where one voluntary subjects him/her self to hair extermination.

Never again will I allow a complete stranger near my silky pubic treasures!!! I am pissed off, irritated in the pubic and other areas and angrily anticipating itching hair stubs that will bother me for a week!

And where was your Patrol when I needed it? Do you have a toll-free number for emergencies?

Anonymous said...

It's difficult to find well-informed people for this subject, but you seem like you know what you're talking about!
Thanks

Feel free to surf to my web site - bmi calculator