Mission Statement

The Problem:

Since the beginning of times (whether you subscribe to Eve or Lucy theories) up to now Pubic Hair was reduced to shameful, undercover, dark, damp, fungal existence.

As we enter the 21 Century countless billions of Pubic Hairs worldwide continue to be undernourished, overtrimmed, scraped, shaved, chaffed, and waxed away as well as being plucked, electrocuted, attacked by the laser beams and subjected to chemical weapons of massive pubic hair destruction for the questionable benefit of the very few.

Billions continue to live in dangerous, untisanitary conditions and parish daily without literally seeing a light of day.

The Organization:

PHP believes that organizations at the corporate level have the option to change the world of Pubic Hair for the better by making ourselves accountable for actions towards at least our own Pubic Hairs.

By making thoughtful, conscientious business decisions, we hope to set an example for the other organizations and begin a new era of "reverse Pubic Hair discrimination".

PHP attitude does not accept preconceived limitations, unless they are our own. Actual and proven PHP members will only publicly represent PHP with Pubic Hair in good standing.

The Command and Control structure of PHP will not exploit cultures, peoples or environments to achieve capital gains except for the purposes of liberation of Pubic Hair from cruel bonds of oppression.

The Organization only grows, act, and react at the speed our members Pubic Hair grows and development demands. That "Form Follows Pubic Hair Function" continues to be our modus operandi.

PHP will continue to grow organically, while seeking the favor of the multitude of Pubic Hairs both standing and fallen.

We welcome the ideas, resources and opinions of our customers as long and until those do not interfere with our better judgement.

The Members:

We are a volunteer non-uniformed patrol organization of Pubic Hair professionals, amateurs, sympathizers, owners (past and present), who join together to provide patrol services world-wide and around the clock to protect the integrity of Pubic Hair (PH) and to assure it’s (PH) humane and cruelty-free existence, and the sanctity of the Wax Free Zone (WFZ).

We the Pubic Hair Patrolpersons provide services worldwide through a tightly woven network of dedicated Pubic Hair lovers of all sexes, religions, and political persuasions and breakfast cereal preferences.

Each one of our members wakes up and falls asleep with the same thought:” I do not ask what Pubic Hair can do for me today, I ask what I can do for Pubic Hair, my own or better someone’s else’s!”

Your Fearless Pubic Hair Leader,

CMDR. Peter S. Berg.