Organization:Direction is provided by the Pubic Hair Leadership Council, (PHLC) consisting of a number of appointed Pubic Hair Members At large and in A Good standing, a Deputy Commander in charge of Operations, Lonely Pubic Hair Ranger CMRD. Peter S. Berg, who is also the Commandant of the PHP Academy, assorted beautiful young PHPatrolwomen to provide us with pubic hair vision, Ranking Members of the PHP Patrol, and couple of harmless old men of undetermined sexual orientation and ill-described responsibilities.
Ranking Structure:
Our membership consist of individuals, couples, trade groups, organized right wing conspirators idiotic community organizers, neighborhood watch association, deranged members of Occupy Wall Street movement--all are welcome to join our Pubic Hair Cadet-Candidate program.
Its open to any person willing to submit himself to Pubic Hair Background Check or provide electronic references from two independent Pubic Hair Owners in Good Standing.
The testing, administrative and processing fee of $9.95 Will allow you to take our on-line open-book test and upon achievement of a minimum passing score to Enroll as Pubic Hair Cadet for a 6-8 weeks training course (depending on Pubic Hair Aptitude).
At the end of the course Cadet will be commissioned as a Certified Pubic Hair Patrolperson and will receive a certificate, etc… bumper sticker and access to member’s only website and the International FraMaternal Order of Pubic Hair Admirers and NUMEROUS other benefits
As a natural Pubic Hair Driven professional you can continue you training and education at the Academy for an additional fee and will be able to take advancements exam every 3 month after achieving previous rank for a higher rank of: PHP Squad Leader, PHP Master-Sergeant, PHP Lieutenant, PHP Inspector, PH Captain and eventually PHP Asst. Commander. Once you have served in the rank of Assistant Commander for 6 month or over you will be eligible for a seat on the Pubic Hair Leadership Council.
Main Duties of the Organization:
Patrol:
To serve and to protect the needs of both attached Pubic Hair and the fallen comrades, mainly to offer an advise and counseling to the pubic hair and its current owner (unless specifically invited to act by the owner or a guardian), through careful observation, sniffing while exercising an utmost common sense and better judgement in order not to upset the current owner, get slapped in the face or arrested by a patrolmen without our sensitivities but with powers to drag your own pubic hair to jail.
An individual Patrolperson can perform his or hers Pubic Hair Patrol duties at any time and any place he or she deems appropriate and both in presence or absence of there own Pubic Hair to front for them. The Patrolperson can engage in both an individual patrol or teamed up with as many others as the capacity of most public spaces allows and the area of patrol can range from ones own pubic hair for up to 100 square miles give or take a Pubic hair or two!
Rescue:
Should in a course of their patrol duties the Patrolperson comes across any voluntary fallen Pubic Hair it is their duty to collect it in the prescribed fashion and to deliver them to central Pubic Hair Memorial facility where they will be given last respects and turn into commercial merchandise to be sold for the benefit of the owner and organizers of the PHP. NO efforts should be made at any time to reunite the fallen Pubic Hair with its past owner.
Special Projects:
Contribute to the efforts of the office of the National Homeland Security Agency, as Pubic Hair can now be exposed to depilatory creams, sprays, anthrax, assorted bugs and other numerous pathogens that present an additional problem with airport security and might require additional numbers of our Certified PH Snifters that will be teamed up with domestic and farm animals capable of sniffing out potential Pubic Hair contamination-a program similar to US Navy's use of dolphins. We actually believe that our Pubic Hair Snifters (PHS) program will be much more successful cost-effective than Navy’s since most of out PHP are going amphibious, large percentage is bisexual, and some are actually bilingual.
As a natural Pubic Hair Driven professional you can continue you training and education at the Academy for an additional fee and will be able to take advancements exam every 3 month after achieving previous rank for a higher rank of: PHP Squad Leader, PHP Master-Sergeant, PHP Lieutenant, PHP Inspector, PH Captain and eventually PHP Asst. Commander. Once you have served in the rank of Assistant Commander for 6 month or over you will be eligible for a seat on the Pubic Hair Leadership Council.
Main Duties of the Organization:
Patrol:
To serve and to protect the needs of both attached Pubic Hair and the fallen comrades, mainly to offer an advise and counseling to the pubic hair and its current owner (unless specifically invited to act by the owner or a guardian), through careful observation, sniffing while exercising an utmost common sense and better judgement in order not to upset the current owner, get slapped in the face or arrested by a patrolmen without our sensitivities but with powers to drag your own pubic hair to jail.
An individual Patrolperson can perform his or hers Pubic Hair Patrol duties at any time and any place he or she deems appropriate and both in presence or absence of there own Pubic Hair to front for them. The Patrolperson can engage in both an individual patrol or teamed up with as many others as the capacity of most public spaces allows and the area of patrol can range from ones own pubic hair for up to 100 square miles give or take a Pubic hair or two!
Rescue:
Should in a course of their patrol duties the Patrolperson comes across any voluntary fallen Pubic Hair it is their duty to collect it in the prescribed fashion and to deliver them to central Pubic Hair Memorial facility where they will be given last respects and turn into commercial merchandise to be sold for the benefit of the owner and organizers of the PHP. NO efforts should be made at any time to reunite the fallen Pubic Hair with its past owner.
Special Projects:
Contribute to the efforts of the office of the National Homeland Security Agency, as Pubic Hair can now be exposed to depilatory creams, sprays, anthrax, assorted bugs and other numerous pathogens that present an additional problem with airport security and might require additional numbers of our Certified PH Snifters that will be teamed up with domestic and farm animals capable of sniffing out potential Pubic Hair contamination-a program similar to US Navy's use of dolphins. We actually believe that our Pubic Hair Snifters (PHS) program will be much more successful cost-effective than Navy’s since most of out PHP are going amphibious, large percentage is bisexual, and some are actually bilingual.
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